Disappointment.

I’m disappointed this afternoon. Not devasted, just disappointed. The animation that I did for a work competition didn’t even get an honorable mention. It did get “This was a really creative take and so we’ll mention it,” but not the honorable mention I’d been told I was getting in the morning. And when I was just getting an HM, I said I was disappointed. I thought I’d really made something that people would value…

Meh.

So I’m disappointed. I’d been told by people it was “absolutely brilliant” and “awesome” and it was even compared to Miranda July. (After I googled her, I felt like that was a massive compliment.) But it wasn’t a winner. And sometimes I’m a sore loser.

Today’s that day, apparently. I want my work to be recognized with more than a punch in the shoulder. (Yes, yes. I know that in my outside of work life I get recognition. I know that I’m going to ROI120 and I know that I’m on the board of directors. I know that I have a regular online column. I KNOW THAT.)

But I spend most of my time in my office and have only had verbal recognition since I changed jobs. I have one thank you note taped to my wall. I have some two word emails in a folder marked “Kudos.” Oh, this thing I lost… it had a cash prize. That’s why I’m moaning about “atta girls.”