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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

Why I hate good customer service.

The bit I do goes like this:

“Has anyone ever mistaken good customer service for somebody hitting on you?”

Yes, everyone has and I, in particular, am constantly falling into this trap. Everyone around me knows that for the past couple weeks I have been thinking about The Waiter. Now, for the first month he was my waiter, I really didn’t talk to him and pointedly did not develop a crush. Then a couple weeks a go, he said, “the next time your in, we’ll have a beer and talk.”

At that point, all bets were off. I was hooked. Even though I was silent, offered little information about myself and had asked nothing about him–he wanted to make an effort to talk to me. Then I went in, he wasn’t my waiter. I went in, he wasn’t working. I went in, he wasn’t my waiter, but stopped to talk. Tonight, not my waiter, but talked to me a couple times. And my waitress checked my ID, but said, “I should just check with The Waiter and see if you are who you say you are.”

After I left, I walked by the restaurant, I came back, I went to starbucks, I went back and caught him.

“After you get off work, do you want to get a drink?”

“No, actually, I’m going to go to my girlfriend’s after work.”

Of course he is. Of COURSE HE IS. I quit. I will never speak to another waiter or bartender or clerk again. I know only speak Bulgarian and am not interested in waiters. And no matter how much they talk to me, I will NEVER EVER EVER make the second move again.

ever.

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