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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

Ego gets hipchecked and then I laugh.

Last night I met Ronnie for Chicken Pot Pie. This is one of the few exceptions I make to keeping kosher. Yes, it is meat and dairy… but it is so damn good. God makes you account for the good food you eat during your life, I’ll apologize and then tell God about the Chicken Pot Pie at Jack’s on Southport. And then I’ll tell him that I interpret that part of the laws of kashrut a little differently.

(Here is my understanding and confusion. “Don’t boil the kid in the mother’s milk.” Okay, so no BEEF with MILK/DAIRY. But chickens and turkeys don’t give milk, so to ME–dairy and poultry seems fine. I do realize this has been debated for 4000 years, but this is how I understand it.)

Since I don’t get to dress up too often, the times I do have time to dress up–I do. I didn’t even get terribly dressed up, just flip flops, denim skirt and a black sweater. But I did take a shower and EVEN put on powder. Wow. Big night out.

I walk to the el and the crew working on my neighbor’s new front porch all whistle and stuff. Feels good in a “I’m a bad feminist” sort of way. Later I’m walking south on Southport, feeling good. I get to Wellington and notice a couple guys in a car looking at me. I decide to multi-task and put my hair into a ponytail while I’m crossing the street. I’m feeling a little cute, a little sexy, and a little offbalance as I step into a puddle of anti-freeze and go sliding across the street.

Somehow I manage not to fall on my ass, but I do scrape off the nail polish from my big two. That means at some point in the 0.35 seconds of the slip, the top of my toe came into serious contact with the asphalt. Ouch. But guys are still watching me and I’m sexy, so I keep walking like nothing happened.

Then I get around the corner of the Antheneum Theatre, grab the wall and my foot and hyperventilate a little. Ouch, fuck, oooh, damn. That hurts. I limp to dinner and try to regain my sexy strut, but it really hard to strut when you are waiting for your toenail to fall off and bleed profusely.

Lucky for me, my toenail is still attached to my toe and no blood was shed.

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