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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

I dont need no stinkin access panel.

Why don’t I ever look for the easy way? Is it being an Aires that makes me decide “This is the way” and then plow forward without reading directions? Why don’t I look for the access panel?

The exhaust tube fell came disconnected from my dryer–which means that lint was spewing from the back everytime I dried a load of laundry. So I did what any reasonable single woman who doesn’t read directions to major appliances would do.

I tried to pull my stackable washer/dryer unit out of the closer–to get access to the back to reattach the tube. I realized the closet door was in the way, so I took down the closet door. It is one of those folding doors that is on a track–the bane of my existence when I was a hall director–not the easiest to take off and then correctly replace.

Then I started inching it out again, only to realize that little piece of metal from the door at the bottom of the frame was blocking the 300 lb appliance. So I started searching for my phillips head screwdriver and couldn’t find it. A flat head wouldn’t do the job.

I put in an email to my handy upstairs neighbor to help me out and told him that he’d need to bring muscle and a phillips head screwdriver.

He brought a phillips head screwdriver and a beer.

Beer? Doesn’t he know this is serious business. We are doing battle with a closet door AND a half ton of metal. You can’t balance a beer while you do these home improvements.

He whips out his screwdriver and I point him to the hinge thingy on the floor. He looks at me like I’m crazy and unscrews the access panel on the dryer. Access panel? ACCESS PANEL?

Ten minutes later I’m bashfully re-hanging my closet door and thanking him for fixing my dryer. My home inspector didn’t show me the access panel when he made sure I understood the ins and outs of the condo.

Maybe next time before I start taking doors of hinges, I should open an owner’s manual.

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