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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

I will use this entry to meet celebrities and secret crushes.

After being stumbled upon by Craig from Craigslist, he explained that he found my blog using a service called bloglines. Bloglines searches for words or phrases (special to you or your company) in blogs, so that you can track how you are being received. I don’t know that President Bush uses bloglines or that any intern would relish the assignment of reading blog entries about the president, but I bet some of my favorite A, B, and C list celebrities have Personal Assistants with interns who might.

Keeping that in mind, I thought I would say witty things (while slightly acting like a scheming girl half my age) to see if anyone else, other than Evan Dando (AKA Geoff with a G), drops by my home, home on the web.

While most other women my age and older fell for Jake Ryan from 16 Candles, I fell for Lloyd Dahbler acted to perfection by John Cusack. Now, the benefit of still having a crush on Cusack is that I live in Chicago. Well, in my real life I live in Chicago. And in John’s real life, he is from Evanston–which is practically Chicago and there are known bars in Chicago where he hangs out. Certainly, he has a PA that trolls the internet trying to put a stop to the Cusack for President campaign. And I am sure he is looking for a younger (by 11 years), sexy, witty (see other posts for proof of wit) comic and writer. And if he doesn’t want all that, he may at least want some ice cream at Sweet Occasions, right? I’ll see you at the shop, John.

Two funny men who have (sadly) married stunning, beautiful women are Conan O’Brien and Wierd Al Yankovic. Both are on my list of people I would love to meet, but would probably lose my entire english vocabulary and be reduced to speaking broken spanish. “El gato esta a bajo de la mesa, por favor.” It could be bad. I did, however, break my glasses at the Fillmore in San Francisco in the summer of ’96 at a Wierd Al concert. and. AND. My friend Scott Derenger is opening for him in March in Chicago. Wierd Al might be taken care of and might be computer savvy enough to do bloglines without a PA. Conan, on the other hand, and I don’t have the same history. Kim, my writing teacher, has been to a taping of the show since I’ve known him and promised to mention to Conan that I was his true love. But I kind of think that fell through. To Conan’s Intern–feel free to make me a bit on his show, just wait until I’m back in the states to do it, okay? Promise?

Who are the other people I would like to get in touch with? This blog is also google-able (it is a word now, okay?) so who else, who else, who else…

For now, I try my luck with John, Conan, and Al. But I’m sure I’ll come up with more over the course of the next few weeks. Like maybe Gabriel Garcia Marquez, The Barenaked Ladies, or Moby. Not cause I’m a huge fan, but he seems like he’d be cool to talk to–doesn’t he?

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