If you read it…

Okay, yes. When you do customer assistance on the phone you get aggravated. “Why don’t they just read the instructions?” “The FAQs are online, why don’t they read them?” “READ, Damn it, read!”

I’ve done customer service, I know. But today I called a financial services company, when dealing with IRAs, 401Ks, and other retirement funds, don’t be a condescending asshole. I don’t understand, ok. I act like I do, but I don’t. So don’t tell me the instructions are clear that I don’t have to get a signature for this or a signature for that. I have a fucking degree in Chemistry, I understand complicated things, your form is not easy.

I actually said to the guy, “I’m not stupid.” Grrr. Certify that I’m not married, just come here and read about my dates, you’ll see I’m not married.