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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

jesus christ

So I say “shul” and people get offended. I quit saying it, now I say temple. My Rabbi says shul and he’s the rabbi of a reform temple, but I quit saying it.

In my roommate ad, I say I’m jewish. Why? Because when I say I’m not, then I have to explain that I’m in the middle of a conversion. Somebody who might live with me doesn’t need to know that I’m in the middle of exploring a jewish life–they just need to know they’ll be living with someone who is observant of a jewish life.

If I could get in a mikvah tomorrow, I would. I can’t. My intentions are pretty fucking pure here, so I’m not just hopping in without a year of study. Without reading everything I can, teaching myself hebrew, meeting with my rabbi, becoming a part of the community and really examining why I’m doing this.

If in certain situations, I need to side-step a conversion conversation with a stranger, I will. I’d rather say I’m jewish than just a fashion victim wearing a “oh, is that a star of david that means nothing to you?”

I know I’m not jewish yet. I also know I will be.

I also know that with my last personal ad, I got into trouble because I said I wanted to date jewish men, but that I wasn’t jewish. Then I had the conversion conversation with every person. Then I started dating one and in the end, my religious choices were one of the reasons it didn’t work out.

So fine. I’m an observant not-quite-jew. Pre-mikvah jew. Just a ger.

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