Lazy Sunday Discovery!!
I have spent a very lazy day in front of the TV, thinking about writing. Thinking about exercising. Thinking about sleeping. Thinking about cleaning. But, mainly trying to find something to watch on my 500 TV Channels. After the Everwood marathon–up to the Season Two Finale–I found my new favorite sports show.
My previous favorite was World’s Strongest Man competitions, which I love. I will settle in for 30 minutes or 3 hours of world’s strongest man. I love it. It is so damn cool. I especially love the early 80’s competitions where there was no consideration for political correctness or personal safety. Someone would be just off-camera with an oxygen tank waiting to stop this year’s Norweigen Strong Man from passing out. And their wives, approximately 80% smaller than their strong man, were next to the oxygen tank. Competitions include dragging a bus with their teeth, loading granite globes onto granite slabs, the keg toss, and the one where they throw the iron weight directly overhead, over a 25 foot tall wall.
Today on Bravo was the International King of Sports Competition.
Competitions included the underwater shotput, the short track sprint (10 laps around a circle track with a 10 foot diameter), the skidrace (running barefoot on a track and then hopping onto a greased suface to see how long you can skid,) the Men’s Forward Fall (at the sound of a gunshot, falling to the ground as quickly as possible and slammnig your face into a foam pad,) and the long jump with face plant (A traditional long jump, modified by landing face first and grinding to a halt using your nose.)
It is fantastic and bizarre. The top competitors I saw were a Japanese man who set the International Skid World Record at over 40 metres and a British man who couldn’t swim, who set a world record for a mix of high jump, but off of a spring board and into a pool. I hope this show makes it to America, because it is a fantastic mix of athletic ability and insanity.
OFFICIAL DESCRIPTIONS OF EVENTS
Individual Fall Down: The king of crazy sports. Defies human instinct and logic. Competitors must try to fall down faster than the other three guys. Success is measured by how quickly a competitor can bang his chin against the ground. Run as a process of elimination, the winner will end up doing this three times. Not one to try at home.
200m Under Hurdles: As opposed to the traditional “over” the athletes must dive under the hurdles while attempting to finish the race in first place. Hurdles are allowed to be moved or knocked over as long as the athletes go under.
Backstroke Tug O’War: One-on-one in the pool. Athletes must pull the rope over a black line while doing the backstroke. If they attempt to play the game by standing and tugging points are taken off and they do not get a second try.
Association Bobbage: Flipper-wearing athletes leap into pool from progessively higher points while trying to keep their heads out of the water.
Tennis Thwack: Smacking a ball upwards and timing how long it stays in the air. If the ball lands past specific white lines no points are added.
Head Long Dive: Much like the long traditional jump, but competitors are required to land in the sandpit on their stomach. Feet are not allowed to touch the sand before the torso and distance is measured from the furthest outreached hand. Eye goggles are a must have.
Short Track Sprint: The 100m sprint, completed by lapping a circular 10m track ten times. If the athletes go out of the circle points are not added.
Shot-put Sprint: Athletes must run as fast as possible while throwing a 5kilo shot on a 100m track. Only one lap is required, but both the athlete and his shot must pass the line, instead of one or the other.
Water Dive: A high-jumping contest where competitors leap head-first over the bar and into a diving pool with the aid of a small springboard.
Slalom Run: Just like the skiers do at the Winter Olympics, but this event is attacked on foot via a grassy slope.
International Skids: Another sport poached from mischievous kids and Scandinavian drunks. Competitors must slide bare-foot along an icily slippery track as far and as quickly as possible. If athletes fall over their skid is counterfiet.