If I really wanted to talk to you, I’d call. So instead I’ll just email you, when I know you don’t keep your computer on all the time. Or maybe I’ll send you a text, cause I know you won’t get it if you are home.
Tonight my shoulders are aching, I’ve been holding a lot of tension this week. Maybe it’s the pillow I’m using, cause I’ve also only been using one old down pillow. It is nice for about five minutes, then it might as well be a pillow made of sand. I tried to release some tension with deep cleansing breaths. I started to cry, so I stopped.
I want to go on a drive tonight and explain everything.
This morning I woke up anxious. I couldn’t even finish my one cup of coffee over the course of the day. Could barely drink water. The train emptied at Grand and I was convinced something terrible was about to happen. I was nervous at work, waiting for word. Will I ever be a full time hire? I have one check owed to me and I don’t have the energy to chase it down, but don’t have the checking account not to.
The tickets to Wicked never arrived. Today I called and reported them missing. Tonight I opened two envelopes I received two weeks ago and found the tickets. Fuck.
What’s the word, God? What on earth is the guidance I am supposed to be getting this week? The world continues to be connected, that much I know for sure. Tonight I had drinks before temple with a friend from Argentina. We haven’t seen each other in seven years.