I had a poopy morning at work. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and didn’t want to go. I don’t think I was having nightmares today, but it is possible I was. Just didn’t want to go. It was a well deserved warning and one I might heed next time I feel it.
Instead I went and wound up crying over a lost file. Ugh. Scanning the ancient way. The company has the technology to use a copier as a scanner, but hasn’t linked it back to the network. So I scanned two 14 page faxes. on the second one I somehow fucked up the save and lost it and had to re-scan it. I scanned it while I cried. I had also had minor mistake after minor mistake pointed out all morning and was totally fed up. On top of all the little things, it is Tuesday. Tuesdays I have to run to the opposite side of the loop to get my paycheck from the temp agency on my lunch break. It is over 90 degrees today and I had to modock through the loop. Yuck.
At lunch I sat down and had a monster Chipoltle burrito, chips, salsa, regular coke, a frappucino, and twizzlers. Ah, comfort food. For dinner I had Ben & Jerry’s and more regular soda. I’m PMSing for the first time in quite awhile–which can only mean I’m gaining weight back. Time to start paying attention and counting points again.
On top of PMS and a mountain of stupid mistakes (which in reality, was maybe six things, nothing major) Cathy leaves for Europe tomorrow and Ronnie is still in Israel. I thought Cathy had already left and didn’t have her to call when I was on the verge of a breakdown earlier today and definitely don’t have Ronnie to call right now. Yes, I also realize that I have no shortage of support people–but they are two of my closest friends. Now they will both be out of the country during the same week. Oy.
But after my salt and sugar induced afternoon coma, I started feeling better about life in general. I had a good jew class tonight. I said, outloud, that I have trouble being religious. Accepting the identity of being a religious person, after so many years of agnostic and un-religious activity. I was a bit more eloquent during class. I didn’t ask my question about Jew on Jew violence, which has been bothering me since reading Five Years in the Warsaw Ghetto. And now reading about the scuffles between the Israeli Army and the Settlers in the Gaza Strip.
These deserve more content, but I remain ignorant so will stop here and go do dishes.
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