I kept my head down and my mouth shut today–it is a short temper day. (Or, you know, PMS… whatever.)
I’m annoyed that I haven’t seen Ronnie in a month and have to keep my inner critic muzzled about it, or else I’ll end up in bed in tears and that’s no good.
But more than that, I’m annoyed about what my mom calls, “Girl Shit” that happened in the kitchen of my shul yesterday. I organized a night at Ravinia for the 30/40 year olds without kids. (The irony is that our leadership–three different couples–immediatly got pregnant after organizing the group. So we might become the 30/40s with babies and the friends they made before they got knocked up.)
The problem is that our night at Ravinia, for a Federation event, overlapped with an event at the temple. Some ladies started complaining about it in front of me. I said, “I organized it.” And she looked at me and TURNED HER BACK ON ME AND KEPT BITCHING ABOUT IT.
This is the petty bullshit that makes people not join temples or sisterhoods within temples. Nobody would talk to me about it and I was standing right there in the kitchen with them. I keep trying not to be angry about it, but I’m not doing a good job in my head.
It is like when I was an RA and 99 evaluations would be good, but I’d focus on the one negative one. Don’t you dare treat me like I’m invisible or that I might not have a reason to give you that would EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. AND IT WAS A FEDERATION EVENT!
Then I somehow got roped into organizing a new group–one for singles of all ages. I don’t want to organize a singles group, I have no desire to organize a singles group. (Although, as soon as we organized a ‘no kids’ group, folks got pregnant. So maybe I need to be the Queen of the Singlehood at temple.)
If I didn’t have chicken in the oven, I would go for a bike ride or something. Instead me and my snkickers bar are going to sit here and stew, cause that’s what I do best when my period is due and people ignore me and talk behind my back IN FRONT OF MY BACK.