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  • Writer's pictureLeah Jones

The crazies on the el go “Blah, blah, blah.”

Today I searched the city of chicago for “It’s a boy!” stickers. To my surprise, they don’t exist. Scrapbooking stores don’t have em, paper stores don’t have em, hallmark doesn’t have em, walgreens, office max. Nobody. grrr.

On the brownline in the middle of my search, I was sitting alone in a two person seat on the aisle. A selfish move that ensures I will be slow to get a seat partner. I was engrossed in playing Tetris on my phone. I never had a game boy or personal game system, but I LOVE TETRIS. (Today I played a game that lasted from State/Library all the way to Paulina on the Brown Line. 18th level and new all time high score.)

A woman asks if she can have the window seat. I scoot over and let her have the aisle and I don’t miss a piece in the game. “Are you playing a game on your phone? Doesn’t that run up your minutes?”

“Yes and no. I downloaded it. It does run down my battery.”

Her: Computers are so hard to use. My roommate just got a computer, she’s my age and she works in construction, so she’s bringing home big money. She bought the fanciest computer, but neither of us know how to use it. We are supposed to have 24 hour assistance, but we don’t. Are some harder to put together than others.

Me: Yes. Some can be.

Her: Those dells look pretty easy. The ones that flip open.

Me: If you just want internet, you should get a webtv. My parents use it and they love it. It depends if you need the computer for other things.

Her: What else would you use the computer for?

Me: If you don’t know, then you don’t need one. Get a WebTV.

Her: You young people have so much technology. I think it will all come to a stop someday. The end of the world is coming and the technology will just end.

Inner Me: Look what you made me do to my game! Argh.

Her: Do you believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Me: Depends on the day.

Her: Ha, ha, ha. Do you know about the Sermon on the Mount, when the ten commandments where handed down to Moses?

CTA: Next stop Belmont. Doors open on the left at Belmont.

Her: Just wait till Jesus comes back. Just ask god to forgive your sins. I’m not crazy, just pray to god.

CTA: This is Belmont.

She leaves the car. The woman in the seat in front of me turns around.

New woman: I’m going to assume you didn’t know her?

Me: Right.

New woman: Well, you were very cordial.

Me: I work in a cafe, I’m used to it.

End Scene.

If you have to say, “I’m not crazy,” you might be. Especially when making a quick exit off the CTA from a one sided conversation with a stranger.

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