Yesterday I got the worst Valentine’s Day present ever, but since I have a decent sense of humor–I’m going to go with the funniest present ever. I came home from work and found a manila envelope on my doorstep. It was from my Aunt and it was obviously a book. I love books and tore open the envelope and slipped out the book.
Thank God I have a sense of humor and do not actually feel I am in a life emergency because I’m single. I write about it and tell jokes about my singledom–not to be self-deprecating, but because dating is funny. It is not the main focus of my life…
Also–I’m ONLY TWENTY SEVEN AND 11/12. I’m not 35. While my brother and sister got married at younger ages than me, my cousin didn’t get married until she was in her early 30s. Good for her too, because she married a wonderful man. If she’d settled for a yahoo she’d met in her 20’s, she’d probably be divorced already.
I’ll admit, I settled down with a bad of doritos and a beer last night to look through the book. My aunt claimed it would show me why and how I should be dating more than one man at one. (In case you missed it, I have recently dismissed all online suitors until I see what happens with Rock N Roll. No, I haven’t told him that, but this is how I operate. One guy at a time. That’s all I have energy for.) This book is a business plan for finding a husband and is either dis-heartening or hysterically funny.
I mean… A Wider Net Matrix? A Telemarketing Journal? A “Man”agement journal? Success being 4 first dates a month with 50% 2nd date return? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!
This is why women get cats and eat Ben & Jerry’s. Yes, I agree. Meet new people, don’t be so judgemental, don’t make an artificial type and cross off all who don’t make the list. Seriously–my preferred age range did not go up 15 years, but if I’d said that in my personal ad, I wouldn’t have met Rock N Roll. Even if things don’t work out with him, I’ve learned a valuable lesson about age being only a number. If I said men had to be over 6 feet tall, I wouldn’t have dated most of the the men I’ve dated.
I have laundry to do and after that I have a husband to not hunt for.